super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
