why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
