Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize