They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
