Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
