I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
