I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
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Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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