she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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