you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
