is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
