how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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