You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
