No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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