i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
