Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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