well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think I sprained my soul last night
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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