He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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