Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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