Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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