i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
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WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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