Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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