We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So vagazzling was a success
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