pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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