you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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