lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
