You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
