I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
