Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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