Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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