Cold hands, warm shart.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
