As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
