let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
birth control should be required to get into college
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
