he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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