Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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