we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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