Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
