She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
