i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize