just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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