Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
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He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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