i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Drake has all the answers
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
