She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
