Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize