you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
