i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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