Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
