I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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