I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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