'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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