Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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