I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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