a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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