I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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