I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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