No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
NoShamevember. You game?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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