just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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