After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
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She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
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Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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