i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
