my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
