Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
